Fatigue but life goes on......

I still underestimate how much this blasted fatigue affects me. Just when I think that I have moved on and not feeling tired it reappears and I know that I  have overdone things. This fatigue can affect me mentally, physically & emotionally.  I am not worried  that because I feel so tired all the time my cancer could be returning  as all that I have read indicates that it is  a side effect of treatment. I read on the Cancer Research web site that the symptoms of fatigue can be;

• Lack of energy - you may just want to stay in bed all day
• Feeling ‘I just cannot be bothered to do much’
• Problems sleeping
• Finding it hard to get up in the morning
• Feeling anxious or depressed
• Pain in your muscles - you may find it hard to climb stairs or walk short distances
• Being breathless after doing small tasks, like having a shower or making your bed
• Finding it hard to concentrate, even just watching TV or talking to a good friend
• Finding it hard to think clearly or make decisions easily
• Loss of interest in doing things you usually enjoy
• Negative feelings about yourself and others

I was surprised to find that I could relate to most of these at some time in the last few months – luckily not all together!! I wondered why my legs ache after not doing anything too strenuous and this is still a mystery.

I give myself one task a day that I have to complete whatever so that I get a sense of achievement. I do get bursts of energy when I feel good and this is encouraging. Once all the treatment ends then the fatigue should go away.

I have been planning to go to Manchester ro see our friends  Chris, Philip & David for sometime and waiting for me to feel up to travelling. 

Philip & Chris

As I am in a 4 week cycle I have an extra weekend without taking pills so last weekend looked a good opportunity to venture North. The journey was good and when I got there after a walk with them and Colin I was able to rest for an hour which helped. It was good to get a change of scenery and company. We went for dinner to a Thai restaurant in Hale on Friday and then to friends Nina & Peter for dinner on Saturday. So it was a very social weekend and I  enjoyed all the company. 

Sunday I went to see David who has played a prominent role in keeping me supplied with books throughout the last year and his reading suggestions are as good as those in Richard & Judy's Book Club! The latest series David has given me is by Colin Cotterell. I am reading the first in the series and if you like Alexander McCall Smith books then you will love these!. Thank you David for introducing me to this author.

David in paternal role.

A blog entry is not complete without mentioning Colin. He was well behaved on his first long car journey. He charmed his new friends and even managed to get away lightly for chewing Nina's dust pan and brush set! Sorry!

Neil & Colin on our Sat morning walk 

My next treatment is Wed 1 June - I can feel that anxiety approaching!

A week has gone by,

Can't believe another week has gone by. The tiredness continued all week - I was sleeping for 3 hours in the day and then sleeping at night from 11 pm until 7.00 am the next morning and still I felt tired. I had occasional bursts of energy, did something and then felt weary again. It was all a bit irritating as I had things that I needed to and wanted to do - but somehow they didn't get done. Emotionally I was a bit all over the place and in a way it is good to  get those emotions out  rather than bottling them up - but I could cry at anything which was all very embarrassing as there was no rhyme or reason as to what could start me off! 

The tiredness has lessened over the weekend but then Monday morning it was back and with it I still felt a bit wobbly.  I think I am beginning to turn a corner as there are periods now when I feel fine. The white blood cells must have taken another hit after the last treatment. I am lucky that I have still avoided any infections and and count my blessings that this is the case and hope that it continues.

But life still has to go on..........

Neil's is as some already know a massive Man City supporter so he was on a mega high with their FA Cup win on Saturday and over 35 years since they last won a trophy. It was well deserved and what a relief that they won! So Saturday was a day of excitement, we had some friends around to watch the match and they all brought food which was brilliant as we could eat before the match and I didn't have to do very much at all. Royalty even turned up!

The HRH's Duke & Duchess of Nash

We even had a cake in the shape of a Man City shirt that Rosemary made.

The Lucky Cake

Colin was not impressed with the build up to the match.

When the final whistle went we all went mad!

Daughter, Neil, Lynne (Neil's mum), Sara, me & Rosemary

A great day for Manchester - City won the FA Cup & United won the league. Two fans managed to be conciliatory for the day!!

Raising a glass to our respective teams success

And I stayed awake through out but was in bed by 9.30pm  asleep after all that excitement!

Tiredness - the remnants of Chemo No 5?

I can't shrug off this feeling of tiredness. This is the major side effect this round - more so than at any other time.
  
Yesterday I put the tiredness down to having been awake for a few hours on Monday night - so I took it easy and seemed to be getting somewhere. Last night I slept and slept  - could hardly wake this morning and have been exhausted this morning - even tea did not revive me as it normally does or even a walk with Colin - it did for a little while but then the tired feeling comes back. My fug returns if I push myself too hard. I love my bed - just as well as it seems to be my favourite place - not that I always have to sleep but I feel that I get the best quality rest when I am there!

Oh well my health is the most important thing to look after and comes first - so they say listen to your body and I am so I am off for a rest.

Post Chemo No 5

I last left you at 2.45 am on Thursday morning. I eventually went to bed at 3.30am. I have no idea what was in the mix this time but I was so alert it was a bit unreal. My mind was working overtime and when I shut my eyes everything was as at high speed. A very strange sensation. So Thursday my energy levels fluctuated between lacklustre and lots of energy and it was difficult to get a balance. The warm weather definitely helps the tingling feeling as this has been minimal this round to date - just if I touch anything too cold. The red face made an appearance again but not as flushed as before. So it seems like I have been lucky again. The energy thing is the most difficult this time - and hope that by taking it easy it becomes more consistent as when the energy level really dips it is quite disheartening and makes me feel a bit sick with a fug in the middle of my head so Neil thinks I am cross as I have a furrowed brow. But most of the time I am not.

I have no idea why I have been so fortunate not to suffer with too many side effects to date and long may it last. I just have to avoid any infections over the next few months.As it is summer I am hoping that it will be easier than if I was trying to do this in the winter when there are lots of colds about.

I have been thinking about, Judy a cousin of Neil's and Bob a friend of Allan & Sara's  who have recently started their chemo treatments for different cancers. Judy has been diagnosed with non Hodginkson's Lymphnmoma and Bob with throat cancer. Their chemo treatments have lasted considerably longer than any of mine lasting most of a day or two days in succession.The effects on this blast of chemo has been much harder for their bodies to with stand. They are both keeping positive  and determined  and my thoughts are with them.

Colin - he hasn't made much of a photographic prescence yet! He has now.

A collage of Colin photos - he is keeping us fit walking and luckily it has been warm sunny weather for it! He is a lovely natured dog and great fun most of the time:-) But he is certainly getting me out walking which is helping me keep well I think & according to what I have read to keep bowel cancer at bay that I need to be walking for at least an hour a day 6 days a week.

Life goes on.................Royal Wedding 29 April 2011 Get together

I realised that I have not been using many photos on the blog lately even though I have been snapping away when the opportunity arises so time for a collage as haven't used this since last year! Colin joined in teh fun by insisting her try on Sarah's fascinator!

Dessert in the garden after watching the Royal Wedding on 29 April with Sarah, Ruth, Jane , Alison , Neil, Colin &Me.
Remember to click on the collage to enlarge.

Chemo No 5

My lovely neighbour Sara drove me to Windsor  and we chatted all the way which took my mind off where we were going. Sara also kindly offered to buy me some bright red geraniums for the garden as she was going to the garden centre. I am thinking that the patio pots and window boxes should be bright and Mediterranean this summer so hence a start with the red geraniums. Need to think about some more hot coloured plants.

Colin was not very happy about being home alone but Ruth came in to collect him and took him for a walk at lunchtime so he was not  on his own for long just enough time for a doggie nap. To our relief he was well behaved - wish he had been when Neil took him out this evening - refusing to come back and then sitting in some muddy water. This starts off being funny but then becomes frustrating. He knows if he comes back and his lead is put on and he will be going home - he obviously wasn't ready!

I decided to utilise my waiting time at the hospital more fully as I did when I went to Reading back last year - so today's challenge was to write a letter to my friend Susie in Australia - I managed 4 pages which I was really pleased about and quite enjoyed. I was almost sorry when I was called to see my oncologist.

He said that I could have Chemo no 5. My blood test from the day before showed the white blood cell count to be about 1.5. I asked how it could have gone down since last week and he had no answer, it could be the chemo or my immune system fighting something off. I need to see if I can find an explanation on the Internet. I did make him laugh at how I got quite excited by having a count that was 2.4. When I asked why? he said that compared to a normal count it was still low - to which I replied that it was exciting to be out of the 1.0 somethings! A normal count would be between 2 and  7.5 so I was heading there I thought!. I now have a 4 week break to give my body a chance to really recover and then we are going for sessions 6&7. While I will be glad to get this over with I am beginning to think that if we can get to 7 then we should have the last one and make it 8 and tick the box that I completed the full course and have given this my best shot. It will mean that the treatment would not end until late July but we have been doing this since February so what is another month in the scheme of things.

Neil picked me up and it was good to have a warm sunny day to come out of hospital to as there was no need for gloves or a hat. I have felt the best to date after Chemo No 5. I did have a rest this afternoon but I did not feel like a sleep. Caught up with some phone calls which was great especially as I very often do not feel like chatting on the phone and have to make the most of it when I do. I even managed to cook some supper.Preparation was interesting - cutting veg with the aid of wooden tongs and a knife was a new experience. But it worked surprisingly well - and no tingly hands and nicely chopped veggies.

The energy lasted into the evening and am now surprised at why I am awake at 2.45 a.m. typing my blog entry ready for the editor to look at tomorrow. I think I will try and get some sleep or today could be a tough one!

No Blogging since 21 April.....

Where does the time go? Here we are 2nd May already and my 5th treatment looming up on 4 May - that was a quick 3 week cycle. The good news is that I have been well apart from a filling falling out. But even this brought some good news. When the filling fell out I just went ahead and booked an appointment to see my dentist. I then had a thought that as my white blood cell count was low that I should check with the chemo nurse as to what treatment I could have as I am more prone to infection. I was told that I had to have a blood test that day and that they would urgently process it so the results would be available the next morning. So Wednesday last week I went off to Heatherwood Hospital in Ascot and waited for over an hour to have the blood test. The results were ready as promised on Thursday morning and it  was  good news. The white blood cell count has doubled during this cycle - from 1.2 at the last test to 2.4 in the new test. This is excellent news, the nurse pointed out that the white cell count for most chemo patients is around 1. So the little cells are recovering well during this cycle and the strange thing is that I have not done anything different so why is a mystery. Someone asked if I had been eating lots of asparagus as they had heard of someone else whose white cell count increased because of that. I have eaten some asparagus but not to excess - but will continue to include it in my diet as it is in season at the moment.

I was able to have a temporary filling  - that was all - which seems to have done the trick as no repercussions. I cannot have any normal dental treatment until the chemo treatment is over so will have to wait for something more permanent. Let's hope there is no further need!

So what else has been happening ...... enjoying the sunny weather and the Bank Holiday and 'the'  Wedding of course

So treatment tomorrow............ have been feeling a bit down at the thought of it! I am feeling well and enjoying my walks with Colin & Neil - so the thought of feeling yuk for the next few days is not that inviting a prospect.