Home alone today as Neil had to go into work. I spent most of the morning resting in bed - it was warm and cosy there as it was a bit chillier and not spring like today. I caught up with some phone calls, emails and read. Rosemary called around for a coffee and a piece of the lemon drizzle cake Lynne had made us. Rosemary had been on a business trip to Singapore and had arrived back that morning. It was good to have some company for part of the day and it was good to catch up.
The hands are a bit more tingly today but the heat pack eases any discomfort. But I have avoided the fridge and the washing up bowl - both look a bit scary at the moment! Energy levels doing ok. Some strange things do happen and then disappear. I had a bright red face after my shower today -looked like sunburn but then it returned to normal colour after half an hour.
This evening we watched the movie Catfish. It was slightly strange but simple film. It was filmed in a documentary style and must have been low budget. I found it quite fascinating and thought provoking. I would recommend it. Wasn't sure as we watched if it was actors portraying the characters or if it was ' for real' and the word on the web is that people are..... undecided :-)
Sunday 27 February 2011
Thursday 24 Feb - first day after Round 2
The reduced dosage must have worked as I do not feel as rough as after Round 1. I did have a lazy morning returning to bed after my breakfast and a cocktail of anti sickness pills and 6 chemo tablets. Neil was at home looking after me today just in case I took a turn for the worse - which I didn't.I did pace myself so that I got some rest as well as pottering about.
It was such a sunny warm day - almost spring like that I decided that this afternoon it would be a good idea to get out and get some sun and fresh air. So wrapped up warm I took myself off for a walk on Chobham Common. Here are a few photos of my walk.
I really enjoyed the walk. I was out for about 45 mins. Should have taken a scarf as by the time I got home where the air had been in contact with my mouth my tongue felt numb similar to when you have had an anaesthetic. I was lisping when I spoke to my neighbour Sara when I got back home - she thought I had been to the dentist! A warm drink managed to sort it out. Knowing that warm counteracts the tingling feelings is a revelation as it is a quick remedy to ward off any discomfort. I have been warming the backs of my hands with the aid of a gel pack that I can heat in the microwave and it is very comforting.
We were rewarded with a beautiful sky as the sun set this evening. It is so good that the days are getting longer?
A quiet evening - a yummy dinner cooked by Neil, a bit of tv and no feeling of tiredness which I think was partly due to the energy shake "Source of Life Gold - the ultimate vitamin mineral &protein shake" that Dr Hembry had recommended. I mixed it with some fruit juice and water - it was a very strange green colour but not unpleasant . But it contains a load of minerals and vitamins all good stuff and it certainly helped. I can't remember the last time I stayed up and watched Question Time!
It was such a sunny warm day - almost spring like that I decided that this afternoon it would be a good idea to get out and get some sun and fresh air. So wrapped up warm I took myself off for a walk on Chobham Common. Here are a few photos of my walk.
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| Self Portrait |
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| Wentworth Golf Course and Chobham Common |
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| Chobham Common - Silver birch in the sun |
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| Sunset from our back garden |
A quiet evening - a yummy dinner cooked by Neil, a bit of tv and no feeling of tiredness which I think was partly due to the energy shake "Source of Life Gold - the ultimate vitamin mineral &protein shake" that Dr Hembry had recommended. I mixed it with some fruit juice and water - it was a very strange green colour but not unpleasant . But it contains a load of minerals and vitamins all good stuff and it certainly helped. I can't remember the last time I stayed up and watched Question Time!
Friday 25 February 2011
Round 2 of Chemo - Wednesday 23 Feb
As much as I knew what to expect I can't say that I was looking forward to today. To some degree the reality was a different experience than Round 1.
It started off much the same. Neil dropped me off at the hospital at 10.00am for my 10.30 appointment. I checked how the clinic was running. I was not surprised that Dr Wasan had not even arrived so it would be running over an hour late! I scurried off to the cafe for a cup of tea and read of the paper. I saw the oncologist eventually at 11.45 a.m, they are obviously seriously over worked. He registered my side effects and the fact that my blood cells were only just recovering from the chemo so decided to reduce the chemo dosage and to still take 3 hours for the infusion. So it looked like I would be there the best part of the day again.
I hit the chemo suite and as there were no chairs free I got the single bed in the alcove which is quite private and I actually preferred it - the nurse laughed when I asked if I could book it for next time. After 4 attempts to find a vein in my right hand (as the plan was to give the left a rest from the tingling) we had to resort to the left where they found a vein straight away. This time the nurse decided to use heat pads, these are like the wheat heat pads you can heat up in the microwave that you can buy in health shops. It really worked as there was no pain as the infusion went in and was very comforting. I settled down for 3 hours - with the aid of two cups of tea, a newspaper and the third novel in the True Blood series time passed very quickly.
Neil picked me at 4.00 p.m, wrapped up in my hat scarf gloves and padded jacket I was taking no risks at being exposed to the cold. In fact it was the opposite I was a bit too warm! I felt less wobbly than last time so ate some food and watched some TV during the evening. I kept well away from the fridge and wore the thin insulate gloves that Chris & Philip bought me and the tingling was kept at bay and has not been as severe as last time - let's hope that it lasts. So battening down the hatches over the next few days to ride out any immediate side effects.
It started off much the same. Neil dropped me off at the hospital at 10.00am for my 10.30 appointment. I checked how the clinic was running. I was not surprised that Dr Wasan had not even arrived so it would be running over an hour late! I scurried off to the cafe for a cup of tea and read of the paper. I saw the oncologist eventually at 11.45 a.m, they are obviously seriously over worked. He registered my side effects and the fact that my blood cells were only just recovering from the chemo so decided to reduce the chemo dosage and to still take 3 hours for the infusion. So it looked like I would be there the best part of the day again.
I hit the chemo suite and as there were no chairs free I got the single bed in the alcove which is quite private and I actually preferred it - the nurse laughed when I asked if I could book it for next time. After 4 attempts to find a vein in my right hand (as the plan was to give the left a rest from the tingling) we had to resort to the left where they found a vein straight away. This time the nurse decided to use heat pads, these are like the wheat heat pads you can heat up in the microwave that you can buy in health shops. It really worked as there was no pain as the infusion went in and was very comforting. I settled down for 3 hours - with the aid of two cups of tea, a newspaper and the third novel in the True Blood series time passed very quickly.
Neil picked me at 4.00 p.m, wrapped up in my hat scarf gloves and padded jacket I was taking no risks at being exposed to the cold. In fact it was the opposite I was a bit too warm! I felt less wobbly than last time so ate some food and watched some TV during the evening. I kept well away from the fridge and wore the thin insulate gloves that Chris & Philip bought me and the tingling was kept at bay and has not been as severe as last time - let's hope that it lasts. So battening down the hatches over the next few days to ride out any immediate side effects.
Wednesday 23 February 2011
Life in between the chemo sessions
I can't believe that I am going in to have Round 2 of my chemo tomorrow. It only seems like yesterday that I was off for Round 1. This last week has been a drug free zone with no chemo tablets. I almost began to feel ok with the help of a rest in the afternoons. The tingling in the hands has subsided and I have been able to get things out of the fridge without resorting to gloves :-) Chopping vegetables without gloves is a much easier exercise. No other nasty side effects so I have got away pretty lightly I think....so far. The secret is to pace yourself - something that you would think would be second nature to me. When I am feeling good I sometimes forget so that I end up feeling more tired than I should. I am not practicing what I preach to others but I'm getting used to the concept, especially after my second week with this 1st bout of chemo when I felt my energy return I was off and running after being couped up for 4 days. I was out to dinner and a trip to London with daughter and Neil, Chris and Philip came for the weekend and as I could drive I went to see friends and family. Needless to say the weekend of C&P's visit resulted in me feeling pretty tired. So the next week I took it easier. I stayed in or around home and people were welcome to phone or pop in but I did not go very far and felt much better for it, so lesson learnt.
This last weekend we had a lovely supper with 10 of the neighbours at one their houses - was relieved that we were not hosting the event. The food was great - it was a pot luck supper in that we were all told to bring a dish which worked really well. I took a pavlova, Chris gave me a fool proof recipe last summer which works every time, with tropical fruits on the top it was a good success.
This evening Daughter and Claire came over which took my mind off tomorrow. It is Daughter's birthday on Sunday so we had a celebratory tea with cakes, candles and a rendition of Happy Birthday. Claire shared her holiday photos with us of her trip to California and Hawaii. She gave us some Hawaiian cookies in the shape of pineapples - something yummy to have with a cuppa over the next few days.
This last weekend we had a lovely supper with 10 of the neighbours at one their houses - was relieved that we were not hosting the event. The food was great - it was a pot luck supper in that we were all told to bring a dish which worked really well. I took a pavlova, Chris gave me a fool proof recipe last summer which works every time, with tropical fruits on the top it was a good success.
This evening Daughter and Claire came over which took my mind off tomorrow. It is Daughter's birthday on Sunday so we had a celebratory tea with cakes, candles and a rendition of Happy Birthday. Claire shared her holiday photos with us of her trip to California and Hawaii. She gave us some Hawaiian cookies in the shape of pineapples - something yummy to have with a cuppa over the next few days.
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| Claire me Daughter & Neil |
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| Helping Daughter blow out her candle - we only had a candle in the shape of a 4 - it wasn't her 4th birthday |
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| Daughter with Papa 1 & Papa 2 |
Thursday 10 February 2011
Return of energy and trip to Clifton
Monday afternoon and my energy levels came back. Suddenly I was able to potter about and do things. I took it carefully so it didn't get used up all at once. I even managed to cook dinner and enjoyed eating it which was also a change. This bode well for my planned trip to Clifton in Bristol on Tuesday. I was keen to make the trip as I had an appointment with a doctor who had been recommended to me. She specialised in cancer treatment from an holistic perspective. This meant that as well as being a supporter of main stream treatment for cancer she was also able to provide advice on alternative therapies, nutritional advice and supplements. Dr Hembry came highly recommended and I wanted some help in how I supported my immune system through this chemotherapy regime with good nutrition, diet and supplements.
Tuesday was sunny and spring like. Just the day for a road trip. Alison had agreed to take me and our journey down the M4 passed very quickly - we chatted all the way there. It was beautiful weather in Clifton - spring is in it's way. On the Downs there were snowdrops and some very small fragile crocuses. I had not been to Clifton before and I was very impressed. A really nice feel to the place and almost a village atmosphere. Beautiful Georgian and Victorian houses and not as pretentious as Bath. All the shops cafes and restaurants were all individual. How refreshing is it to visit somewhere that does not look the same as every other High St, I really liked it. We had a simple lunch and a wander around the shops before my appointment.
I was pleased that I had made the journey as Dr Imbrey helped me considerably. It was brilliant to talk to a doctor in a holistic way that drew everything together instead of dealing with a doctor who just specialises in one aspect of the treatment. My concerns about the validity of having the chemotherapy treatment were alleviated as she believed that the treatment had a proven track record of being the right thing for my cancer. She supported it and made a suggestion of how the power of the chemo could be heightened without any side effects which is something that I am considering. We talked about the next 6 months and what I can do nutritionally and with the aid of supplements to support my immune system and body so that it is strong in dealing with the effects of the chemo and aid a quick recovery in the post chemo world. All very helpful and it was the first time that all the separate threads of fighting off cancer were brought together with a Dr. There was a lot of information to digest. I plan to see her again in 6 months when we will need to discuss how we monitor my system to spot early any incidence of the cancer returning.
A very interesting day - a big thank you to Alison for driving me there and back - a great act of kindness.
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| Before my Road trip |
Tuesday was sunny and spring like. Just the day for a road trip. Alison had agreed to take me and our journey down the M4 passed very quickly - we chatted all the way there. It was beautiful weather in Clifton - spring is in it's way. On the Downs there were snowdrops and some very small fragile crocuses. I had not been to Clifton before and I was very impressed. A really nice feel to the place and almost a village atmosphere. Beautiful Georgian and Victorian houses and not as pretentious as Bath. All the shops cafes and restaurants were all individual. How refreshing is it to visit somewhere that does not look the same as every other High St, I really liked it. We had a simple lunch and a wander around the shops before my appointment.
I was pleased that I had made the journey as Dr Imbrey helped me considerably. It was brilliant to talk to a doctor in a holistic way that drew everything together instead of dealing with a doctor who just specialises in one aspect of the treatment. My concerns about the validity of having the chemotherapy treatment were alleviated as she believed that the treatment had a proven track record of being the right thing for my cancer. She supported it and made a suggestion of how the power of the chemo could be heightened without any side effects which is something that I am considering. We talked about the next 6 months and what I can do nutritionally and with the aid of supplements to support my immune system and body so that it is strong in dealing with the effects of the chemo and aid a quick recovery in the post chemo world. All very helpful and it was the first time that all the separate threads of fighting off cancer were brought together with a Dr. There was a lot of information to digest. I plan to see her again in 6 months when we will need to discuss how we monitor my system to spot early any incidence of the cancer returning.
A very interesting day - a big thank you to Alison for driving me there and back - a great act of kindness.
Monday 7 February 2011
The last few days post infusion
The last few days have been a bit odd side effect wise. Thankfully nothing too debilitating - touch wood. Just a general feeling of tiredness and apathy and quite happy to rest watching DVDs and reading.While it was blowing a gale outside yesterday afternoon I whiled away a couple of hours watching "Under the Tuscan Sun". One of my favourite light hearted escapist movies and always does the trick of giving me a lift. I am following a new DVD series for me - "Being Human" about a ghost, werewolf and a vampire trying to live as normal human beings. A bit unusual for me but enjoying it and something that you can dip in and out of!
The tingly feeling in the hands and sensitivity to cold continues and probably will now throughout the treatment. I just need to remember to take care when doing things - like making sure that I don't put my hands under cold water and it is a bit strange putting gloves on to take things out out of the fridge I have yet to brave the freezer!
I do have some moments of nausea but to date this has only resulted in a burp or two! I am taking the anti diarrhea tablets as a matter of course and am keeping everything under control.
Last night staying awake after 9.00 pm was an issue and reminded me of the tiredness that I experienced the last time I took these Xeloda tablets back in the summer - but last time it didn't kick in so soon. Let's see what happens this evening!
The tingly feeling in the hands and sensitivity to cold continues and probably will now throughout the treatment. I just need to remember to take care when doing things - like making sure that I don't put my hands under cold water and it is a bit strange putting gloves on to take things out out of the fridge I have yet to brave the freezer!
I do have some moments of nausea but to date this has only resulted in a burp or two! I am taking the anti diarrhea tablets as a matter of course and am keeping everything under control.
Last night staying awake after 9.00 pm was an issue and reminded me of the tiredness that I experienced the last time I took these Xeloda tablets back in the summer - but last time it didn't kick in so soon. Let's see what happens this evening!
Thursday 3 February 2011
"Is there a drug without a side effect" - I asked?
Arrived at the hospital 5 mins early for my 9.45 am appointment but that turned out to be optimistic as Dr Wasan was running late with his rounds and didn't show up until 10.15 a.m.So I guess I was lucky to be pushed up the queue to see him at 11.15 a.m. My blood test results were all normal, I was given another explanation about the side effects and signed my consent to the treatment. The medical research nurse took me to the chemotherapy treatment room. She explained that I was not selected for any medical trials as they thought that the prescribed treatment should be sufficient. She did say that I might be selected for a Hereditary genealogy trial that they are conducting. I said I was happy to but explained that the only incidence of cancer in my family was my mum's cousin who had died from cancer back in 1971 aged 51.
The chemo treatment room has 5 big reclining chairs around the edge of the room with a pillow on one of the arms for you to place your arm while you are infused with a drip stand next to it. Jeannie the nursing auxiliary came and explained the plan for the session, took my blood pressure, heart rate and temperature - all ok so the most important bit next she made me a nice cuppa! Rebecca who was my nurse for the session came to place the cannula in my left hand after she eventually located a vein - mine always seem to disappear when they are needed, they must know what's coming. She then attached me to a saline drip and went through the side effects of the drugs and what to do if I had any. I then received an anti sickness drug which had a side effect of peritoneal itching! This prompted me to ask the question " Is there a drug with a side effect" - Rebecca laughed and said of course not even an aspirin has side effects.
The scariest side effect I thought of the chemo drug Oxaliplatin (Eloxatin (R)) I was having intravenously was that it could cause a spasm in the throat and larynx which would make me feel as though I couldn't breathe. I was told not to panic and to tell them if I felt it or if I felt that I was loosing my voice as they could give me a drug to counteract it and they had oxygen on hand. OK keep calm I thought, They would also be monitoring me while I was receiving the infusion for any other allergies. The infusion would take longer today so they could administer it slower so they could observe for these.
We started just after 12.00 - luckily the throat spasm did not materialise much to my relief and the only reaction which was to be expected was a tingly feeling and ache in my left hand and wrist where the drug went in - but this should pass in a few days. So I settled into the armchair for 3 hours - had my ipod with loads of unlistened to episodes of The Archers to catch up on and have some of my packed lunch :-) well I was told to make a day of it. I was also able to see who my fellow chemo patients were. There were 3 ladies having treatment for breast cancer as they were wearing ice caps to help minimise hair loss. They said that it made them feel cold all over even though the room was very warm. Having no idea of what these caps would look like I was surprised to see that they looked like jockey caps. There was a chap there who was having the same as me but as he was on the opposite side of the room and did not like to shout. But I did over hear that he was on his last treatment and have to say that he looked healthy and had kept all his hair which I found encouraging.
Neil picked me up and home for a cuppa, a rest and a survey of the huge bag of tablets that I had been given - anti nausea, anti diarrhoea, mouthwash for ulcers and sore mouth, anti sickness, anti acid ! A tablet for every occasion. The interesting and weirdest side effect so far is the sensitivity to cold - my fingers tingle when I touch something cold even a plate from the cupboard or a glass of room temperature water. Hot drinks are fine as is hot food. But when I tried tepid water my mouth feels like it has been anaesthetised Cold food gives me a spasm in my mouth as if I have eaten something really sharp but warm food is fine. How weird is that - god knows what this stuff does to you to get rid of the bad stuff. Got me thinking what I can do to try and keep this harming me - need to do a bit of research on this.
A restful evening and a reasonable night's sleep before getting up to tackle my new drug regime!
The chemo treatment room has 5 big reclining chairs around the edge of the room with a pillow on one of the arms for you to place your arm while you are infused with a drip stand next to it. Jeannie the nursing auxiliary came and explained the plan for the session, took my blood pressure, heart rate and temperature - all ok so the most important bit next she made me a nice cuppa! Rebecca who was my nurse for the session came to place the cannula in my left hand after she eventually located a vein - mine always seem to disappear when they are needed, they must know what's coming. She then attached me to a saline drip and went through the side effects of the drugs and what to do if I had any. I then received an anti sickness drug which had a side effect of peritoneal itching! This prompted me to ask the question " Is there a drug with a side effect" - Rebecca laughed and said of course not even an aspirin has side effects.
The scariest side effect I thought of the chemo drug Oxaliplatin (Eloxatin (R)) I was having intravenously was that it could cause a spasm in the throat and larynx which would make me feel as though I couldn't breathe. I was told not to panic and to tell them if I felt it or if I felt that I was loosing my voice as they could give me a drug to counteract it and they had oxygen on hand. OK keep calm I thought, They would also be monitoring me while I was receiving the infusion for any other allergies. The infusion would take longer today so they could administer it slower so they could observe for these.
We started just after 12.00 - luckily the throat spasm did not materialise much to my relief and the only reaction which was to be expected was a tingly feeling and ache in my left hand and wrist where the drug went in - but this should pass in a few days. So I settled into the armchair for 3 hours - had my ipod with loads of unlistened to episodes of The Archers to catch up on and have some of my packed lunch :-) well I was told to make a day of it. I was also able to see who my fellow chemo patients were. There were 3 ladies having treatment for breast cancer as they were wearing ice caps to help minimise hair loss. They said that it made them feel cold all over even though the room was very warm. Having no idea of what these caps would look like I was surprised to see that they looked like jockey caps. There was a chap there who was having the same as me but as he was on the opposite side of the room and did not like to shout. But I did over hear that he was on his last treatment and have to say that he looked healthy and had kept all his hair which I found encouraging.
Neil picked me up and home for a cuppa, a rest and a survey of the huge bag of tablets that I had been given - anti nausea, anti diarrhoea, mouthwash for ulcers and sore mouth, anti sickness, anti acid ! A tablet for every occasion. The interesting and weirdest side effect so far is the sensitivity to cold - my fingers tingle when I touch something cold even a plate from the cupboard or a glass of room temperature water. Hot drinks are fine as is hot food. But when I tried tepid water my mouth feels like it has been anaesthetised Cold food gives me a spasm in my mouth as if I have eaten something really sharp but warm food is fine. How weird is that - god knows what this stuff does to you to get rid of the bad stuff. Got me thinking what I can do to try and keep this harming me - need to do a bit of research on this.
A restful evening and a reasonable night's sleep before getting up to tackle my new drug regime!
Tuesday 1 February 2011
Time goes quickly ( hopefully)
Time does pass very quickly. I can't believe that it was 20 Jan since my last blog and that today is the 1 Feb the day before I start my chemo. I'm hoping the next 6 months speed by as well.
I have been keeping myself busy in the last couple of weeks. I have been feeling well and as I can drive again now have managed to get out and about. Life has almost returned to what it was before my op. It has been good to catch up with people again and have people drop in for a cuppa and we have also been out to see friends & family. I am back to cooking dinner most evenings and am slowly putting some weight back on. Today I have been for a short haircut just in case it all starts to fall out soon. This afternoon I went to see the movie "Black Swan". It is a dark psychological thriller - very dark in fact. Natalie Portman plays a brilliant part and I can see why she has been nominated for an Oscar. Not a film for those of you with a nervous disposition.
So how am I feeling about tomorrow? Calm I think is the word. Is it the sort of calm before a storm? I don't know. I am apprehensive about the side effects as I don't know if I will suffer any. Quite similar as to how I felt back in July before I was about to start my chemo/ radiotherapy treatment. But as the Chemo will be much stronger I have to expect a less easy ride.
I have in my mind that I do not want to feel as poorly as I did after the second operation back in Nov as I have been feeling so well. But I came back from that and I know that I have the inner strength to battle back from any side effects may materialise.
One thing I do know is that there will be an end to the treatment and when it happens that will be it. So the chemo is not forever it is a maximum of 6 months or just 9 trips to the hospital. After tomorrow there will only be 8 !
I anticipate being at the hospital as an out patient for most of tomorrow. The next few days I plan to take it easy and not push myself . I have a supply of DVDs to watch and some good books to read. The fridge and cupboards are well stocked with food. We have delicious cakes to have with tea care of Neil's mum Lynne and our lovely neighbour Sally aka The Malteser Fairy as she regularly posts a bag or two through the door.
So here we go again, it will feel like a long 6 months at times I am sure, but I know it's the best course of action and at the end of it it will be summer, and I can look forward to so many things.
Once again thank you for your messages of support and encouragement in the last few days.
I have been keeping myself busy in the last couple of weeks. I have been feeling well and as I can drive again now have managed to get out and about. Life has almost returned to what it was before my op. It has been good to catch up with people again and have people drop in for a cuppa and we have also been out to see friends & family. I am back to cooking dinner most evenings and am slowly putting some weight back on. Today I have been for a short haircut just in case it all starts to fall out soon. This afternoon I went to see the movie "Black Swan". It is a dark psychological thriller - very dark in fact. Natalie Portman plays a brilliant part and I can see why she has been nominated for an Oscar. Not a film for those of you with a nervous disposition.
So how am I feeling about tomorrow? Calm I think is the word. Is it the sort of calm before a storm? I don't know. I am apprehensive about the side effects as I don't know if I will suffer any. Quite similar as to how I felt back in July before I was about to start my chemo/ radiotherapy treatment. But as the Chemo will be much stronger I have to expect a less easy ride.
I have in my mind that I do not want to feel as poorly as I did after the second operation back in Nov as I have been feeling so well. But I came back from that and I know that I have the inner strength to battle back from any side effects may materialise.
One thing I do know is that there will be an end to the treatment and when it happens that will be it. So the chemo is not forever it is a maximum of 6 months or just 9 trips to the hospital. After tomorrow there will only be 8 !
I anticipate being at the hospital as an out patient for most of tomorrow. The next few days I plan to take it easy and not push myself . I have a supply of DVDs to watch and some good books to read. The fridge and cupboards are well stocked with food. We have delicious cakes to have with tea care of Neil's mum Lynne and our lovely neighbour Sally aka The Malteser Fairy as she regularly posts a bag or two through the door.
So here we go again, it will feel like a long 6 months at times I am sure, but I know it's the best course of action and at the end of it it will be summer, and I can look forward to so many things.
Once again thank you for your messages of support and encouragement in the last few days.
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