The day before my 4th treatment

Wednesday I had my fourth infusion. The last 4 weeks have really flown by,  for the  last 3 weeks I have felt particularly well which improved as the weeks passed so that I now feel almost back to normal energy levels and have been doing chores and keeping busy. By 10.00pm I am tired but then I always was so that's nothing new. I have been getting lots of exercise walking Colin which with the sunny weather has been a great mood enhancer and I have gone back to work - which I have decided will be a good distraction, get my brain working again and give some structure to my week. I am no longer on benefits so I have helped  the government initiative to get people back to work!

I even managed to commute to the office in London for 3 days and survived a travel disruption when there were no trains leaving Waterloo. When there was a train to Sunningdale I was lucky to have a seat so I didn't mind how long it took to get home - a new feeling from when I commuted regularly.

I have decided that I will try to save as much as I can of my earnings  so that when this is all over and the winter blues are making a comeback, Neil and I can go on a 5 star holiday next winter. Difficult to appreciate it will when  it feels as though summer has already arrived.

I have seen a lot of friends over the last 3 weeks.Thank you to those who made the journey to see me and for those we visited for making the time for us to visit.  Maybe Colin was the reason why we might have been so popular and he has now been socialised with everyone I think and we have enjoyed seeing everyone!

After he had dried off

He even managed a swim at Phil & Lisa's house when we visited on Saturday in their pond. I took my eye off him for a minute and he was straight in their pond - how embarrassing seeing your dog swimming in the pond.The look on his face suggested that he did not think it was going to be that deep. The efforts of grooming him quickly disappeared as we spent the rest of the visit with Colin smelling of wet dog - not the best of smells. Note to self - must buy him some  doggie cologne!

So why when all these good things are happening have I woken up feeling irritable and blue on Tuesday morning? I think it was the thought of going for my treatment tomorrow and having to face the fact that for the following 4 days I will be feeling a bit yuk! In the past when I have been ill with a cold I haven't anticipated  feeling rough, but  going for my chemo  is different. I know that after Wednesday, I will not be feeling great. The anticipation of that is a real downer when I should have been enjoying the  last day of my good weeks.  I know that the chemo is the right thing to do and these last three weeks have given me a glimmer of what life will hopefully be like again at the end of the treatment in July. After Wednesday I am half way through the treatment which is a milestone in itself but it seems like this has been going on forever - next month it is hard to believe it will be a year since my diagnosis!.