Three Years..............and an immense sense of gratitude

It's hard to believe but it's been three years since I had my first surgery where the bowel tumour was removed. When I looked back at the blog entries at the time I realise what a tough time we were actually having. But we survived it and came out the other side for which I am eternally grateful for and a BIG THANKYOU to my guardian angel who has been looking out for me and got me through all the challenges that came along the way at that time.

I like this quote.

What a lot has happened in those three years and so grateful and happy to have had the opportunity to experience them - some parts of them not so much but I have learnt so much about myself in that time. But most of all just being given time......

 

I have many answers to this question.

Blood test - yes three months have passed since my scan

HAPPY!

I had a blood test last week for CEA levels. This is 3 months since my last blood tests and scan.  The brilliant news is that the blood test is normal - in fact it is 0.6  My August test was 0.5 so yippee!!!

              While CEA is not a fool proof indicator being 0.6 is a good place to be!!!

Back to Burghope Manor for the weekend

Coincidently we spent a weekend at Burghope Manor exactly a year ago - so wonderful to be back. Cosy beds , delicious breakfasts, wonderful dinners, amazing hosts , beautiful countryside and feeling so lucky to be back here.

Here we are again!

The exterior

Colin racing around their garden

A long walk

The pub we went to for a beer before dinner

Autumn leaves

A cosy bed

Since we last went there they are now No 1 on Trip Advisor for Bradford on Avon - which Burhope is on the outskirts.

First frost of this winter

Awoke this morning to the first frost of this winter. So it was a cold walk this morning at 7.30 a.m with Colin, Ruth and Jazz. But so beautiful I love that blue blue sky and white frost - so much better than the grey and rain we have had for the last two days!

Kriss Carr on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday - watch this

As you know Kriss Carr has been a great inspiration to myself and millions of others. So watch this video "How many of us truly live?".

She summaries so well what I have thought at times " until I am perfectly healthy I am broken" - and I am sure I am not alone in thinking this. But as Kriss says "this could be a dragon I am chasing all my life" at some stage you have to let this go. This can be really difficult - it is a huge obstacle to get over - letting this worry go away and just live. - if you ever reach this stage.

I made my mind up that you can't live in a state of worry. It sometimes makes a unexpected uninvited guest appearance but I now know how to accept it and then let it go. After all life is a terminal condition for us all and we just can't walk around thinking that!

But I hadn't really been able to describe the feeling that I aspire to feel and sometimes accomplish - which Kriss describes so well which is "truly loving what is - all of myself". This is something that initially felt a bit uncomfortable with me as it has selfish undertones - or is that just my unique interpretation? But when she goes on to say that  "How many will truly love - live for you" it sat more comfortably. After all I do lots of things for different people in different roles but for me I realised I did these things for me - they satisfied something inside of me - and I wasn't looking for thanks in doing them and didn't feel smug about doing them - but I did them all for me!

And Kriss has a lovely rescue dog who she loves - which makes me think of my little Colin! He has made such an improvement to my life - woof woof!

Colin

Watch out Paul Hollywood - I baked some bread yesterday......

the manual way and not in a bread machine - very rewarding and this is the result and it tasted delicious - spelt and wholemeal with seeds.

Watch out Paul Hollywood!

An invisiible red thread

“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break.” - Chinese Proverb

I saw this on Pinterest this morning and it really resonated with me and it made me think how lucky I have been to meet some amazing people in my life (OK and some not so amazing!) and even though I do not get to see  all of them they come into my mind occasionally and are not forgotten even the ones who are no longer with us - so that red thread never breaks!